when i was twelve i remembered i got so pissed off at all of the girls in my class because they would make everyone sit in a circle and do this whole - "curahan hati" thing which was just basically a subtler way to pick out on other people's flaws and personalities that were not up to your standard so that you can feed the emotionally unstable demons inside of you and feel better about yourself. yep. that. we would sit and everyone would have a go to say whatever they want to absolutely anyone, and this usually takes place at the end of the year-which was clever, because clearly you have thought about the repercussions of picking a fight with someone and not having to deal with it afterwards because you get a two month break, right?
so the first and most popular question was,
"who was the most arrogant looking that makes you a bit uncomfortable to approach them?"
and because of my wit, charming smile, and vibrant personality that just resonates throughout the whole room- id always take the cake.
this ritual literally went on, until i was 16. and i took the cake, every. single. time. they ran out of cakes because i'd take them all. don't get me wrong, i understand the fact that girls just want to find a way to communicate and clear the air, but what i do not understand is why was this question even relevant? what does a face (my face) have to do with anything? i still get these kinds of comments and remarks about my face, being lifeless or uninterested and people would tell me that they had a hard time talking to me because i look a bit bitchy. but thats just my face. i was born with this face, the first thing my mother saw when she gave birth to me was probably the same face and i am beyond happy that she didnt give up on me simply because my face made her uncomfortable. and it's not like i don't smile at all. i do, and i get that it may be my fault for not smiling but the sad truth is, sometimes even when i am smiling (or when i think im smiling) its not a good enough smile. its more like a smirk, if you must. im pretty sure im not the only one who inherits this resting btchface. and im not even that bothered anymore.
my face is my face. and your face is your face. dont be a faceist.
can you imagine what my face looks like while im typing out this post??